terrorin

I am going to spend my Christmas here at the mentalhospital. I have been so tierd the latest time, but I have done the best I can and I hope people don't hate me now because I'm here. Because I realy need to be here right now.
Mom is in thailand so I don't want her to know I'm here til he get back to Sweden, then i will tell her.... On the afternoon me and the mobileteam (the team who drive to peoples homes) go to my apartment and get up som stuff, my new jacket and I'm gonna buy a computergame I think. Because this computer is so fucking old, i got it when I was 13 years old, and that kinda 7 years ago... But I have not used it so fucking much so it still works, but the graficcard inside is to simply to play new games, so I'm gonna buy the first zoo tycon or something :) I lova that game,n and ikt was years ago I played it...

Well I feel kinda empty so I'v happen up here at the mentalhospital again... I feel. angry. My mom is in thailand and I don't want her to know this, and my father want me to get up to Dalarna at christmas but I'm not going, I feel to bad...
DOnm't know what to do, realy... Yeah you have the chance to have your computer at swedish mentalhospitals... I don't know if it's bad or good, but I have mine.
I an on the floor and space 150 for psychotic people..

I had this waspstick in the summer, but the fucking spike is left in my body! So I walked to a doctor about it today, 6 monthes later, and they said it was inflamed so they sticked me with needles and cut a whole at the place where I have the spike, it hurt  a bit, those drugs do not realy work so fucking awsome... So now I have a fucking whole in my ass (hehe) and it hurt like hell! I can nearly sit on my own rump! FFS!

I have been playing The sims3 in like 4 hours now, kinda fun. I didn't dare to fall asleep because I'm going to be with the stuff on the practical and open up the dogplace, and I will be there at 07.00 and I never get up that time if I go to sleep, so let's stay up all night, wiho, fun!
I got this comment about my dog, that she will be badly because I smooke inside my apartment, but I think she will survive ;) Soon it's summer and then I start smooke outside again.

In october this year I wrote this "script" on a movie I would like to happend... I had been at my doctor and I told him much about what was happening in my head, and have been happening a long time. He told me: "Therese, that sounds like a big fucking nightmare!" "yes it is" "You should write a book, or a script" "No I have no power for that"

But when I got home I got this extreamly feeling for write things, so I write this "script" down on maybe 7 pages. It's not a script it's more like an idea to a movie or whole working script. So when I was finnished I looked up where I could send my text. So I checked it up and sent the text. I got the answer "I will read that" from a person and afte that I didn't hear from one single person in two monthes, so I was pretty sure there was nothing that was going to happening.

But now, yesterday, I got this email from a person who workes at SF and she wanted to talk with me about my story, freaking awsome! Just the point she is writing me back after all this time and she is from SF (swedish movies / Svensk filmindustri) is so fucking cool! I'm happy right now, because all this is fucking freaky!

BYE!!!!!!!! :´D

I was on the bussstation and a gang of 12 year old boys walked to me, one of them said: "So! You are smooking? Me to"
Cool guy...

Well tomorow I start the practical about 13.30, nice...
I start to smooke right bad in here and I'm afraid my dog is getting cancer or something... but i don't think so.

Woodlouses or on simply Swedish to English: Greylady...
I think the beginning of everything has to do with them, I think that kind of animal (as I used to be) Only think they are thoughs... They have a very hard life and it is nearly impossible to be something else if you have been a woodlouse. If you are a woodlouse, in your first life after something else, are a woodlouse you need someone to want you for you to be a different shape. Like another animal or a human, but it's nearly impossible for a woodlouse to be a human after beeing a woodlouse. When you are a woodlouse you'r "destiny" is to kill other and save your own life, therefor: A woodlouse who bee a human is not a happy one, it's kinda serial kill it all way. But me the other way has been a woodlouse for so many years now, lika in all eternity... That is what I remember from my former lifes. Let's begin to explain this:

In all eternity I have been a woodlouse, because when I was made, all by thoughs on this planet, I have already goes a turn all around the space. The space have a stop... Our Sun is the stop, but it do not stop there it only reflect like a mirror with energy to the other way, and that make the space look and seems like eternity... But when I took my roadtrip around the space living at other planets in the shape of a woodlouse all around the space, till it get a stop; Our Sun.

Our Sun is not a very nice planet, it's more like hell... The fact it that it's never been life on earth until now because our planet has filter all bad energy from "The Sun" and that maked it possible for other beeings to live on every fucking planet around the space, but in different times...
The earth make the "drainage" of the space, the filter the things other planet couldent have to live. But these things what not things like animals or human beeings, it was more like bad energy... This energy (who comes from the sun) is so fucking bad and scary that no planet in the whole universe could handle it. Only our planet (who stands in the right possition to the sun) can handle this energy... And from this filter (as the earth) the energy goes to other planets and on these planets there became life to grow... Because they had there own sun's with energy and a little of that energy from the big heart of universum. The sun IS the big heart of universe... But no planet can handle the big energy who comes from there, exept our planet (earth), but then, for all these years when the universes planets had alot of lifes in different times the earth stayed dead.

But then, BIG BANG, was happening. And this shit make me believe. Big Bang was NOT a big fucking Bang who create space and universe, it ONLY create life on the planet earth but it destroyed every life and every trace of life on the other planets, BECAUSE:

When me and my sister and brothers as woodlouses had been reborn and reborn and reborn over and over and over again around the whole universe we get to the "stop" or the "reflection" of universe... The sun.
And when we get there a big fucking reflection of energy started to pulse out from the Sun, a energy that kill everything, everything that was happening because there not was a planet Earth (Tellus) on that side of the sun... On the other side we have Tellus, that has been filter all this energy so it didn't catch the other planets, but on the other side of the planet Sun, there was no Tellus. So The energy goes right back into the space and destroyed every fucking planet in there way... This energy is a energy that is so freaking hardly to explain, it's like explaine feelings that noone has experience yet. It's like explaine something on a language that noone speaks. But this energy (I have meet it, inside myself, and I was so fucking scared, I can't believe in it but I most) is so fucking hard and so fucking unloved and so fucking dead in there minds that noone will live it through... This energy is something very bad, that noone else in the whole universe can touch... But Tellus (our planet earth) has been atrackted to this energy in all eternity, and we are born from this energy, from this energy I like to call revelation. Our planet is through, no simply hard cheating planet, like most of the others, our planet is the one I like to call purebred. The other planets is like I call it inbred and infected, infected of the Sun.

Think about the space like a clock, the sun is on 3 our earth (tellus) is on 6. 9 and 12 is only markets. You need to start to go to left for the right way, if you go to right on the beginning you simply happend to stay on the Sun. After 9 you can start to take your trip the other way, to right, after 12 you simply road the clock of space to right and after that you get to 3, where the Sun (the heart) is living, when you get there, you simply be reborn on the planet earth again...
If you take the easy way, right directly, you happen to live on the Sun your next life... And hmm, what's living there? We will come to that...

Whatever, the clock thing is hard to understand I know that so I painted you a little painting:
Click on the picture for a better view...

What I wan't to explaine is if you go directly to right, against the clock, you be reborn on the planet Sun (you don't want to) and if you go to left, and then, after a while, goes to right you are going to have as much experience for your reptilian brain to survive on the planet Sun... Because on the sun: (we are coming to that)...

So after all, when me and my brothers and sisthers has made a big trip, living a "planetlife" on every planet, also that long, from the beginning of life untill the planet died, to start all over again on the next "right energy" planet. For on that new planet start all over and make a life on the planet, who after millions of millions of millions years diead again, start all over on the next planet. And all the time being a woodlouse. When we had make all this roadtrip just living like woodlouses we get the stop, the stop was the sun, where we were going to live a whole planet long life on the sun... BUT on the Sun there already are life, and has always be, and will always be. On that planet... You CAN'T fly in a space ship to the sun, you will explode, BUT you CAN bring yourself a new body on thatr planet, a reborn of yourself. And if you simply think you'r the best one on the planet earth in a whole planetlife you are going to be reborn at the sun directly. Instead of walking and have kinda fun on every planet in the universe BEFORE you get to the sun. And your reptilian brain you must have to live there, if you don't want to be food in every life and live in extreamly panic and pain in every life. You need your reptilian brain! for living ther! or else, you'r fucked... Ok let's come to the part where you all will laugh like hell (I know you probebly already have laughed but this point sound so... kinda... irritating, but I can't find a better way to explaine it):

On the planet Sun you are born like a woodlouse, if you have done your trip kinda well, your life can be a millipede. BUT on the planet Sun you have the woodlouses and millipedes in a kinda bigger form. They are all from small small pieces to like 1 meter long(39,37 inches) and 50 cm tall (20 inches). The big black millipedes is like 380 cm (12 feet and 5,61 inches) and 50 cm tall (20 inches). These animals is living on the Sun, this is what our planet has been filter from the other in the universe, the death. To be born there is the most horrible you can be exposed to. Woodlouses and millipedes are born on all the planets, but not in this shape that on the sun. The sun is a so fucking black planet that there are not possible to live... And I remember this. I have lived like a woodlouse on that fucking planet, to be a woodlouse on this planet would be simply but I am so afraid of be born to that after a life as a human. Because the human is from 0-100% made of love... A human can have "no feelings" but it's more like a human that have "no feelings" have feelings like 80% and a "normal" person has a love up to 100%... No person can have a love on 0%, just a test... But think then if these animals who are living on the sun has not a love on 80-0% they have a hate on 100%.
If you think a human person on earth that have "no feelings = 80%" is crazy, scary and mad. What do you think a person with 70% would be? Exactly... (?) a animal, maybe a horse, then we have the love in maybe 40% there you have a bird, 20% maybe a crocodile, 0% maybe a maggot, -20% maybe a beetle, -80% maybe a centipede, -90% you have the millipede and -100% you have the woodlouse. The woodlouse is so compleatly insane, mad and black that you can't believe in it...

A woodlouse think, like I write before, there bodies is born of thoughs (witch kinda true) but the hard way working is that the woodlouse has forgotten that they were born, that they exist and that they are helping our planet to live. A woodlouse has nothing like love, nothing like care, nothing like humble. Nothing. They are black and hard. I can't find words to explaine how fucking scary this animal is, it's only, nothing. They have forgot everything that we like humans have. They have nothing like us, nothing. And if you, like a human, goes straight to the sun and be reborn there, you are going to die. Over and over again, and when you not are dying you are in a so fucking confused stage that you never understand what you are. You have no sense or reasonable at all. All you'r thoughs will go around and around like you was a million different persons who talkes in the same time. You'r brain will fuck itself up so fucking hard that the only thing you have is panic. After a million years living on the sun your panic will go over to confusion, after confusion in a million years your brain will go over to madness, and maybe, after a millions of millions of millions lifes over and over again (you have no choose when you are there) your brain will go over to hate. Hate is the only feeling (and you need to be made of it) that make you survive on the planet sun. To be a 1 meter (40 inches) long woodlouse you need to be made of hate. Love, the sun simply don't know what love is. And when you are this 1 meter long woodlouse you need to survive like it. In a whole planetlife. And you need to be the king or the queen, the mother and father of the planet. To be reborn on the planet earth again...
So if you understand me, you need your reptilian brain when you got to the sun. You can't survive there if you don't have it, you will never, NEVER, get to the point where you are a big hating one if you don't have walk all this all the way around the clock.


About the sun:
On the sun the centrifugal force is only 1 meter (40 inches) high and that make it impossible to other creates than the first living ones to live there, the sun is like the boss in the whole universe. The millipedes is the only creation who has become develop of the woodlouse. The millipede is simply a upgrade of the woodlouse, but they only have -80% hate, because they are longer from the start than the woodlouse, they has become different shapes. The millipede is more like a deformation of a woodlouse, like this video, click here: VIDEO of pillbug/millipede.
That is a shape of a woodlouse/millipede who do exist. And this is what I am creating here. On the Sun the evolution only has been bigger and bigger millipedes, who end up to the rase I have, the big black Mardonius Parilis Acuticonus. The deformations of the woodlouses started to breed of there own look, in millions of millions of millions of years, and everything died, exept the now living creature on the Sun, The bigger blacker millipede, who from the start came from the woodlouse.
If the centrifugal force would be higher than 1 meter or 40 inches the development of the living had continue. But on the sun the centrifugal force only is 1 meter (40 inches) and that make it impossible for new life to get through... So there, the only life is big woodlouses and big millipedes. The bad energy that the animals is sending from there minds, is what I like to call black Psychoplasma (Psychoplasma is thoughs that are living who goes in the air, but Black Psychoplasma is bad, very bad) and this is all that the animal on the sun are sending out. Before you have the earth that filter the black psychoplasma to only psychoplasma, but now we are telling the other planets the truth. The other planets are going to live again, but it will take a millions of millions of years, and we will start on the moon.
BUT, this black psychoplasma travel so fast from the sun. When the black psychoplasma has gone up to the ozone and become as black as the universe the psychoplasma goes out from the ozon and travel fast, very fast, out in the space where the black psychoplasma travel out from the sun to the space in the speed of light. And this speed of light travel so fast that it becomes hot and stops everything to travel against it in a physical way. But if you travel with the speed of black (somthing that I have disscus through, like the speed of a black hole) with you'r own psychoplasma (your thoughs) then you have a life long enough to travel to the sun and be born there. But if you travel with the speed of a black hole on the other way you have the age of a life enough to be reborn on the earth and in about millions of millions of years be born like something on another planet... Maybe you need to be a woodlouse in some life, but I promise you, you need to.


ADD:
I am going to teatch myself how to do animated movies, and do movies about this. But first I need to find a clas or someone who knowes how you do animated movies, so if someone knowes send a mail to: [email protected] or send a comment here.

Read more about woodlouses on: http://terrorin.blogg.se/woodlouse

After all this monthes with thoughs my brain goes into a kinda quiet downspare... I can think anything at all, it feels like you have lost all the things you was believing in and thinking about, it's kinda... Scary but in the same time it's kinda "feels good" on it all...
Whatever...
My mom asked me today if I'm realy gonna keep my millipedes, and I say "Yes" and "I can keep them till they get big, and then I can sell them, but I'm never gonna touch them... hehe" My mom said, "No never" and I asked her if she wanted to see them, she kinda run away in her thoughs and say no definitive not... I think they are kinda scary too...

Whatever, me and viktor was at Zyk's place in the holiday... Kenta was there to, but he was drunk, as always... I'm kinda think he would stop drinking that much he is doing, but he don't understands that to 100% He becoms kinda irritating when he is drinking and others are not, but I'm not shore he understands that, he kinda most take a lock at himself sometime I think... Let's be hard on that one.

To irritating stuff:
(Let's do it fast)

• I have my dog here.
• She is going with me to the practice tomorow
• Let's se if she can be in a cage without goes DAMP.

To more interesting stuff:
(Let's do it hard way working)
I am going to read my whole blog from the start I think, I know I have done kinda fucked up things on it... Or have write down badly or wrong things while all this time... But I don't know, I'm gonna do it anyway. So (Kenta) told me my blog was hard to indentify or something, but I'm only think you'r a retard Kenta! It's kinda well working easy to find things on this blog...
When you have done a comment you only click yourself back or click on "terrorin" at the header to came back to the start, or you just click at "Start of the blog". It's easy like hell, you can search the blog to, but's that one is kinda... hmm, but I promise you, you can find kinda fun things trough that search, not only to the orginalblog, you can kinda find every blog in there because everything goas through this blog...
And under links you find links.
Under arkiv you find older posts
and under latest write you find the latest things I write in here. It's not hard at all. improvement!!!

I come back when I have something more interesting to write you ;) Joke... Bye

Ok yesterday I was at this party, it was kinda fun... But all the people who would be there wasn't there, that was bad.
Today I'm going to Zyk or Adam, Viktor will be there to, I hope it will be fun... I'm so freaking tierd from yesterday but I hope everything will go alright and than I don't fall asleep the first thing I will do...
And tomorow me and dad are going to look at jackets! wiho!

BYe!

I have done this irritating thing...
I have done a "add to favorite" link, just ignore it.
I found it kinda cool to put it there, if someone find it cool to click there 8') whops you have it in your favorites on your explorer or firefox or whatever.

Soon I will go to the practice and yeah, I have not sleept at all, but I will survive. Have a nice trip!

My dog ate poison for rats yesterday... It was like:
I took my dog with me when I walked to dad and his livein wife Anita. And we eat dinner, everything was nice and so on... But after the dinner Anita wanted to show me her new drapery in the cellar. So we walked down and my dog came after... So when we were down there cleo started to eat from a plate. I told her to stop and then Anita said something like: "omg, that's ratpoison!!!"
So I grabed the telephone and calld the vet, they told me to get in immediately to get her bring up the poison. So me and my dad went in to the animalhospital (?) and there woff get some food and a needle of something she started to vomit extreamly of... So she vomit for maybe 20 minutes and after that she rest for a while. After that the vet come in and gave her carbon in a needle in her mounth, woff didn't like that, and after that she got another needle in her skin. Then we get four pills with us home and a recept on medicin I'm going to get out from the drugstore. When I get to the drugstore they didn't have the meds. But I will get them from the vet tomorow when me, dad and woff goes to the vet again for a check.

And I hope so much everything goes right, today she is like normal. So if everything go right, she will be healthy again :)

If not... Her inside is going to erode and the blood stops coagulate and she bleed to death on the inside...