Together
We love the world we live in.
We care the birth we live on.
We save the touch we use of.
We hate the shape we try for.
We have the universe to cry with.
Let's tell a story that is sad but true
Let's tell a story. Click on the pictures to get them bigger.
This picture I took of myself one minute ago (from writing this). Today my weight is 76 kg (167.551 pounds).
I think I look pretty ok...
Then...
I google myself as "terrorin Alive" at google and found this picture... On this picture down here I maybe weight 65 kg (143.3 pounds) but before I got in to the mentalhospital I had a weight on 58 kg (127.868 pounds).
I know I didn't took any pictures when I was down on 58 kg, I was to sick, but I have this one, when I was a 65 kg girl:
Sad but true.
Swedish art from Emil...
Swedish art from Emil... Translate it here: http://translate.google.se/
SENSITIVE PEOPLE: WARNING!
"En välfylld manspung i en tvångsöppnad pojkmun"
"En pulserande brandsläckare är en penitrerande tarmknäckare"
"En välgäst pung i en oskulds mun"
"När en penis blir nöjd måste en unge bli töjd"
"Det allra bästa pojkar vet är hårda paket"
"Har du inga presenter till julen, slå presentpapper runt drulen"
(Me, Sister, Emil and end in Riga)
Start of 6 monthes
One, Two, Three. Here we go again everybody...
6 monthes I guess. Start of the new phychosis. Yes I notice it... In the beginning.
...
The people on KGB thoughed I was on drugs.
That information I got today from boy when he was there and getting his stuff.
Stumping information. If you'r not drunk then you'r on drugs.
But they said I was welcome there again and that it was fun with a fight because they had not have that on a while. So that's a good thing.
But I was not on drugs. Maybe I be the retarded woman's best friend after this and two years forward in time I maybe can get in there crawling.
Vapenlicens became a freaky out thing
This was the thing:
I was here in my apartment with Emil, Julia and Jimmi and I only drink one glas of a drink just because I should get in to the playing of Vapenlicens. When the clock hit 20.00 we went to the train and took us to Stockholm Östra where we took a taxi to KGB in stockholm where Vapenlicens should have there gig (Never go to KGB...).
So we walk out of the taxi and the rest of me was pretty drunk (emil, Julia and Jimmi) but not hysterical. Me on the other side wasn't drunk at all. And we walk through the door and there the guard for the pub stands and she said "Noone of you four is coming in here" I like get panic and said to here that I have not drink much at all just for get in to the pub and se my boy playing. Then she after a while talking let me in but not emil, julia and jimmy.
So everything was great, I got in. And I was not drunk at all. So I went in to my boy and there I got some food and after that I walk down to the scen and I tasted One sip from my other friends beer and after that I stand and waiting for Vapenlicens to start playing. They start playing and everything was nice.
+ So to the point, I'm not a person who fly around the scen and headbang like a freak. I prefer to just stand still on one point and look at the band.
- So maybe 3 songs into the concert this fucking femaile retarded guard walk to me and said to me to follow her. So I follow her up and she said: "You need to go you can't be here"
Me: "What?"
"You are to drunk"
Me: "I'm not drunk a shit! I just stand there and look at the band!"
"It looks like you are sleeping and I saw you drink"
Me: "what the fuck, I just drink one sip from a beer from my friend and I am only standing still and looking at the band"
"You need to get out"
"No I'm not going to get out, I'm not fucking drunk!!"
Then this guard get another niggah guard and I got to talk to him and I said:
"You see I'm not drunk, I don't understand why she don't want me here, this is individual. Is it how I look"
"I see that you not are drunk and this is not individual. Take a walk outside and get inside again and I let you in."
So I walked out from the pub and out on the street where I against all my methods saw Jimmi and Julia. Then they two had stay outside the pub in two hours. So I stand with them, told them my story and smoke a ciggarette. Then after a while I said:
"I try to get in again now"
They said:
"We follow you in!"
"We follow you in!"
Witch I found like a stupid idea but it had be cruel to say that they should stay outside and that I should try myself.
So we walk in to the pub and I ask the niggah again:
"Can I get in now?"
"Can I get in now?"
Then the closetguy who hang up clothes said:
"You never get in here!"
So I started to talk to the niggah again:
"You said I should come in again if I get out, let me in now!"
Niggah: "It's not me who decide witch people who gets in here or not. Or witch that can stay or most go..."
Me: "Can I talk with the person who decides this then?" And then I thought ""Is it the fucking woman who let me in from the beginning and then throw me out I'm fucking gonna kick her fucking ass!""
So I turn around and there she stand, the fucking retarded woman and my brain just said blow and everything got this black that happens to me some times and I just run against the woman, hit her in the face, pusch her down the floor and hit and kicked her. Then the niggah and maybe some more came and carry of me from the woman and absolutly throw me out from the pub. (My legs run faster than my body, so I had a hard time to get my legs to stop running from the pusch)
After that I turn around and the woman had walk outside just like saying: "I'm not scared of you!"
And that maded me so fucking angry so I run against the woman again and grab her crest and her hair and tear the crest and a bit of her's hair of. Than they pusch me away again and the woman got inside the pub because the nice niggah told her to.
So after that I was so fucking angry. Me Julia and Jimmi went to McDonalds and eat and after that boy came and I became angry on him because he was irritated of that he could not party with the band on KGB. I was angry all way home with boy but today I think we are boddys again. But he just went out from the apartment for a walk. I don't know if that's bad or good. I hope he forgive me but, honestly, the woman was a retard and deserve beating...
Judge me or not.
(Look at the place, it's fucking disturbing)
AND!!! THEY BROKE MY FAVORITE SHOES AND WINTERCOAT, look:
I say: CRAP! Those was my absolutly favorites, I will try to fix them. Buy new shoes for 900 kr (129,29$) or new wintercoat 7000 kr (1005,56$) I said buhu! Maybe new shoes but the jacket I most fix at a tailor or something... And I will. Both is my absolutly favorites. The coat I have own in 3 years but this is the first winter I have the shoes!. I'm so sad right now, so much that I love thoes things.
Tribute to those:
Snow Snow Snow
I feel like snow!! It's snowing outside and soon Julia, Emil and Jimmi comes here to drink beer and after that go and see Vapenlicens playing. The band my boy is singing/screaming/whatever in. Check it out! If you want?
It's in Swedish, but if you don't hearing the understanding you can listening to the music or something. I'm so demanding
(Yesterday, forget to post)
Made a; A = live . Sweden + terrorin = terrorin Alive in Sweden. [email protected]
Made a connection from hotmail to gmail today. So I still have my email: [email protected]
But the mails will be send to gmail instead. So no problems, ladies and men, I have my old mailadress. A Guy on Nova recomended this and I think it will be great. So start spamming me with questions like never before to my mail: [email protected] who simply will be send nowmore to gmail.com!
I think it will be better than hotmail.com for all reasons.
Keep me!
:::Big fat regard from:::
Malin in a hardcore world
"Check that cool toilet, only 15.000 kr, for something you take a shit on!"
"terrorin" and "The moth" 
A normalprice toilet you get for maximun 2.000 kr, but this one was BLACK!
Today I throw away 24 pair of shoeboxes
Yes, today I throw away 24 pair of shoeboxes.
Like a countdown for christmas!
Hope everyone are enjoying my book right now!
When I am trowing away 24 pair of shoeboxes... I find it so interesting that I had so many of those.
I feel so fucking great
I think my grandfather, my dad's father is the one who is going to read my book first, all because he talk over and over again that he do it so slowly and most repeat all the things he reads because he don't understands them. I think that is a good thing. Well. Let's see who that reads the book first. I have many candidates but who the fuck is reading the book from letter one to the end without stopping of confusion?
Have a nice day:
Puff - race
"Puff" - race between me and Tess on Facebook. After maybe 6 months of puffing Tess facebook simply stoped send puff askings between me and Tess.
Puff - race #1
Level score
Now me and Tess is up to Puff - race #2. This is so exciting!!!
Restart
FAKENAILS ON!! (!)
Feels like heaven
Finally
Finally, after maybe 6 years of retarded love me and Adam is a big fucking 153 kg (337.307 pounds) great heavy couple. Feels nice. First I was in love with his dick but now I'm all over him. Stay close... I'm not a pervert, I'm only natural. Like my mom with 100% have find my sextoys when she has been here and cleaning my apartment when I'v been on the mentalhospital.
Oh I'm an Angel!
For everybody who have AIDS
You won't brake me...
I'm not in that army.
Just for fun
Be impressed! Be very impressed... First time on, I don't how long, have I buyed some dresses on internet and I AM GOING TO LAY UP PICTURES OF THEM HERE.
Dress #1
Dress #2
Dress #3
Dress #4
I think I like dress #4 the best, but dress #1 and #2 are also nice, so are dress #3. And them all for only 749kr (115,81$). I have such a good taste!
Only one retard deserve this (CT)
I am laying in my bed like thousand times before
The only different now is that it’s really is over
The thoughts starts, a real chaos in a storm
Evil thoughts and your memories been mixed in a tornado
A bomb has been exploded and on the outside you see me sweating
Because now I stand in the line of my family
The chains of feelings is clamped me to the bed
I only wants out but someone is holding the strap
I have stopped feeling, but it still feels
You are on the other side my big love of life but it fucking hurts
The tears can come despite the weeks have turned to years
I can still feel your hand on my leg
I am shaking from the thoughts that you are with someone else
I will always think of how it would be if you had stayed
Hours turns to weeks till the time disappears
Tears turns to thoughts till the cremation furnace is on fire
The only thing what is left is the memories
You was so wonderful, so fucking cute
Now it’s over and there is nothing left, now it’s only me
(Was it you or me who was crazy?)
I am a prison in a world, world
The jailer is me, from you
There is nothing left
You, it’s over now and all our time is over
Because there is nothing left
Because there are nothing left
You, it’s over now and it feels so freaking good
I feel so fucking good
Smoke and cigaretes
Been at Adde's place and there were some old friends, not so near friends but it was fun to meet them anyway. I found my favoritepicture at my computer today and I thoughed I will put it upp here. I have keept it saving in maybe 7 years now. From gorgasm.com and I have been moving it first from my old computer at my moms house when I lived there. After that when that computer went old (got it when I was about 10 years old and mom kicked it out when I was about 18 years old, kinda hardcore computer) I moved the picture over to Allan (my former computer who still stands here beside me and will always do if I need some kind of information from it). After that from Allan to my new one I got in April 2011. So here you have my favoritepicture through all years!
Concentration in the blood
When I was on the hospital they took two blood samlpes on me to look at the concentration of antipsychotic medicin in my body. You shall have a value of maximum 30 (of something) and absolutly not more than 45. Over 30 is not good at all but a body can take up to 45 or something like that. But me on the other side have:
BLOOD SAMPLE ONE: 53
and
BLOOD SAMPLE TWO: 81
I say: Retarded fucking doctors to put me on that high of meds... And the voices, thoughs and hallucinations is not much better, more at the other way. I think.
I'm not a angry and creepy person at all.
Indeed I am not a creepy person just because I hit that girl. Feel nothing about it, it was not my fault! Today my psychologist told me they maybe are going to do a mentaltest who they make on real dangerous mentaly ill people. I don't know the name in english, but it's "rättspsykiatrisk utredning" on swedish and I can't find any translate on it. Whatever, let's see what's happening! It can be fun! A big big adventure with my own freedown on the game. Some new photos on terrorindead btw. If anyone is interested.
The word and thing they maybe do on me was: Forensic psychiatric evaluation. There you go!
